～生活随笔～

so proud of them...^^
they are represent Malaysia to Hong Kong for the indoor rowing machine competition...
by the way they are also represent UTHM going to there...
wow...it is really amazing...

i am wonder when can i be like one of them..
recently i am looking down on myself..
i cant be like them because i dont have high spirit..
i am attending the training everyday but i cant do well on the machine
my endurance is not good as the other...
i strike hard on it till myself dont have enough air, nearly pengsan but what i get still the same
i dunno why...i have try to train hardly as well as to be like the others..but it seems very hard..
so disappointed on myself..

i like sport, rowing is my 1st sport in this U
still remember when i 1st join in to that sport i have try to suit myself at there
the environment, people, food and others...
i try so much just because i want to a part of them
when at MASUM 2010 i strive so hard till get back pain, but i still wanna continue the race because i afraid if i quit the team they need to find others to take over my place, that time our team really lack of girl rowers, if i just quit like that it seems like irresponsible as an atlet...

now when i think back what i have achieve i really feel shame about it
i cant even use my 2K time to go Hong Kong just like them
it is because i m not good enough to represent UTHM...haiz~ i really feel down about myself

i need team mates to support me BUT the closer to me one wanna quit the team
i was really shocked to get this news..
i wonder why she wanna quit...she says she wanna concentrate on her studies..izzit involve in sport means cant do well in academic? i really sad to hear that...very disappointed....aiks~ i really dont get what she was thinking....
i have lost the support....the others one also have same reason...
i need mentally and physically support...but the closer to me one, getting far and far from me...
i really dont have mind on it...i am afraid that i dont have much spirit to stay in the team...
haiz~